Uncomfortably Comfortable

So another thing I've been expecting to feel as I progress into fatherhood, is this 'instant love'. That unequivocal feeling connection between the parent and their child. The first 40 hours lacked that. I was worried. Yet the dust has settled. The anxiousness and worry has subsided and in the void, suddenly, the greatest feeling in the world! A clear and present euphoria!

Speaking of which, this morning, I held Clark in my palms. He is being prepared for another procedure and I could not hold him to my chest, but I was allowed to place my hands in the 'greenhouse' and cup him in my hands. His head and shoulders resting in my left palm, his back and bottom fitting perfectly in my right. Christy, on the other side, cradling his head and gathering his feet together. I'm standing. My forearms resting inside the entry panels.

So, imagine you're at the mall, resting your arms over the second story railing, holding a bag of bath bombs each hand. I'm sure after a few minutes, fatigue would certainly set in, your fingers might fall asleep, and you'd probably be bored of holding the bags and decide, "Hmmm let's see what's new at the Apple Store!" That would be me.

Add this to the fact that I'm usually so ADD, that even the most fun of activities might leave me bored after a few minutes of repetition, I was astounded at how uncomfortably comfortable I was, holding my sweet boy in that precarious position. I held him for close to 50 minutes and I could have gone 50 more!

I'm also feeling an unparalell draw of energy and love to my wife. More so than I ever imagined. I went to breakfast by myself this morning, with permission, but couldn't kick the yearning (I know, sugary and gooey sweet, right!?).

Clark continues to impress the MDs! Christy is pumping as I type...fascinating...and at 3pm, we'll go upstairs and feed our boy!

PS - Anyone else watch Survivor on Thurs?! James' better slow his roll!