I got to hold my boy today...I got to hold my boy today...hip, hip, hooray!
So, today when we arrived in the NICU...Vangie, Clark's nurse for the day, asked if I wanted to do skin on skin...to which I quickly replied, "YES!" I was so excited I could barely stand it. Jason was with me and we anxiously waited as they lowered the bed and pulled up a rocker for me to sit in. We kept looking at each other with big grins. They put Clark on my chest, with his little legs and feet going down into my top. He had a brady episode right at the beginning...but they just woke him up, repositioned him and he begin to snuggle in. After a few minutes of crying, trying to adjust to his new position, Jason put the tiniest little binky in his mouth which he took immediately and begin to calm...and settle in even more. Jason was kneeling down beside us and the 3 of us...our little family...fell a little more deeply in love. Clark was so cozy and happy...and it gave me so much peace to be able to hold him and feel his breath, to feel his pulse...to feel him safely in my arms...
Every time alarms go off in the NICU, it has been instinctual for us to quickly look up at Clark's monitors to see if it is him that needs assisting. We named this phenomenon "ding, dong, twitch." When little Clark was on my chest for almost 2 1/2 hours, I never had to look at the monitors because I could FEEL that he was OK. He was so content that he moved into deep sleep...which is when they do the most growing...and he didn't have another brady/apnea episode during our entire time together and for several hours after...
So, Jason and I have been on cloud 9 ever since...feeling so high on the love we have for each other and our little boy...it was perfect. Getting to hold him is the best feeling. Even though I had to got to the bathroom...even though my bum was numb and my arms were tingling...I did not move...I could have stayed there for hours. I chanted the same chant I used to when I was pregnant with Clark. He relaxed even more...it was magic...
Ohhhh, Christy, such a wonderful expression of love. I'm so happy for you and Jason that today was one of those "UPS" for all of you. It makes my heart sing. I printed out all of the "Chronicles" into a "script"-like package and took it to work last night to share with my co-workers, some of whom have know Jason since he was real little. They loved it!!...sooo much more love and heart beams coming your way! (BTW, the "sweets" should arrive at your home address tomorrow by 4:30pm via FedEx. USPS shipped the box back to me with the note on it that said "No longer Cedars". Ridiculous!)Anyway, sweet thing, keep hanging in there. The best is yet to come!
ReplyDeleteChristy that is the best news. I am so happy that you and Jason had cuddling time with Clark. It appears from your blog that it was a blissful and happy moment for Clark, as well. The heartbeams are abundant and going all the way up to Cloud 9 to be on your level. So happy, he is doing so very well!
ReplyDeleteTears of joy rolling down my cheeks presently! Christy, I am so so so happy for you and baby Clark. Huge heart beams coming from me to you and your family.
ReplyDeleteawesome! so happy for you three.
ReplyDeleteWonderful wonderful wonderful!!!! XOXO
ReplyDeleteBeautiful! A wonderful inspiration to us all. :)
ReplyDeleteYou see my little chickies...NO brady/apnea episodes when mama's holdin him and daddy's close by...how wonderful is that! This says a whole lot right there, he's comfortable, content and feels safe...now doesn't that lift your spirits...give my grandson these please XOXOXOX ~:o)
ReplyDeleteThat has to be a moment that only a mom can understand, lol. I'm sure it was a great moment of "mother bliss". "Hush little baby...don't say a word mama's gonna buy you a..." :)
ReplyDeleteAnd the love just keeps rippling out ... I look forward to following your family on this incredible journey and have no doubt that Clark is going to be hosting his own NICU preemie support group before the end of the month -- and the first thing he'll tell the newbies is "get as much of that skin to skin as you can, man. It's good stuff." And then he'll have that gorgeous video to prove it! Thanks for sharing ...
ReplyDeleteso happy to hear that you finally got that moment you've been craving. Wishing all three of you the best of everything and thinking of you often.
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine how you feel because I love him too just by seeing the videos and pictures! Still sending Heart Beams! I can't wait to have this much joy as only a mother could have!
ReplyDeleteThat was SOOOO beautiful! Don and I were crying and laughing. Much love and vibrant, colorful heartbeams! Thank you for allowing us to be a part of this.
ReplyDeleteWishing you as many joyful moments of holding him close and giving him as much deep-love-deep-sleep-grow-time as possible. He is so precious, and seeing your smile as you cuddle him? Precious, too.
ReplyDelete