As my mom and I were talking yesterday the conversation, as it always does, started to center around Clark....which is totally my favorite subject. He is just so amazing and so super excited to be alive. He is ready for whatever, pretty much whenever (except when he's tired or hungry....then watch out!). We were chattering about all the joy that he is and that he creates. Then we drifted to the way he came into this world. We talked about how emotional it is to look at the pictures...just how small and fragile he was. This feeling comes over me that is so hard to explain. This sadness for the suffering of anyone and everyone. There is definitely a deep impression on my soul of that experience. I am not sure I have quite processed it all yet. In fact, when I look at pictures...I know I haven't. But at the time, we just dealt with what was right in front of us. Going to the past and wishing things were different didn't help, nor did thinking about the long, unknown road ahead of us. So the present is where we needed to be...for ourselves and for our baby boy. If the past or future aren't causing suffering and are creating joy, then why try to stop the mind from that experience? But when they DO cause suffering, I find that being present is the best way to keep creating joy despite the obstacles; So, we decided to be in each and every moment...loving that little guy as hard as we possibly could. And now here we are and I look at that soul survivor and I am blown away by the heart's capacity for love.
And now, here he is growing by leaps and bounds...happy, healthy and super sweet...ACK...I can hardly stand it!
I have several pics I wanted to post but for some reason I cannot get them to load. I'll try later.
Love!
