Physically doing great...all is going just as we want it to with nothing to report...think boring! Emotionally...well, that is a whole different story. Today has been a rough one. Really heavy. I miss things...fresh air, my dog, our bed, friends, students, teaching, my yoga practice. It is not so much that I miss them yet I suppose than thinking of being here for 3 months...then, the longing starts. So, I have to stay here with this moment and just appreciate all the wonderful little things that are here in front of me...which are so many. All this missing, is just longing for that which I cannot control. Amazing how the mind shifts and what is so pleasing. The food here is pretty damn awful...but let me tell you, at 3:30pm every day, I get a warm chocolate chip cookie and it is DELICIOUS. Now, at home, in my rigidity of diet and routine, I would never eat a HUGE, warm, gooey chocolate chip cookie everyday...but here, I can't wait for it. It makes me so happy and I eat it with absolutely no guilt. So, there. Inner child satisfied with cookie time every day.
Getting comfortable is a huge effort in a hospitable bed. So, the deal is, I am on bed rest with bathroom privileges...that's it. So, each time I get up to go potty, I have to unplug and then relatively soon after that, need to be plugged back in and find Clark, else the nurses get worried. But I do take full advantage and take a few minutes to stand, and breath while moving my arms ever so slowing up and down, following the slowest, deepest breath I can. That is my current yoga practice. Then I sometimes meditate for a few minutes...sometimes I chant or pull out a singing bowl. My practice has definitely changed. This is what life is made up of...constant change and all those 'things' are just attachments that I have made that are causing me to suffer because I miss them or think of how much I will miss them as time goes on. So, now I take my yoga to a whole new level. I create each moment by breathing slow and just allowing time for the creation of a little human boy to take place.
I am so in love with watching Jason do stuff. Cleaning up, feeding me, making his cot, making tea, folding things, talking to the nurses, working on his computer...all of it is so special. He is my main source of entertainment and I am his biggest fan! So much fun to watch him and fall in love with him more and more and more...I have nothing to complain about...I just have to break down my constructs of what I want life to be right now and accept what is in front of me.
OH and they have a volunteer program here where owners bring in their dogs as therapy! We got a visit from a most dashing Poodle named Max today...I instantly cried. He was so sweet and looked right into my eyes for a very long time as if to say "I know what you are going through and I am here to offer love" It certainly did a lot to lift our spirits. We hope to get doggie visits on a regular basis!
Stay tuned...more to come...
Love, love love...
Christy
Hang in there....and I thought I was the only nice guy out there that took care of things around the house when my wife was sick, working on my computer, and walking the dogs....you guys will be fine, and it sounds like the cookie is another hightlight too....just make sure you save a bite for Jas. We are sending our prayers.
ReplyDeleteScott, Teri, Ryan, Kyle, Ralphi and Licorish
You both are such amazing role models. I have always felt that both of you were such an inspiration & you always make me think about things in a different light than I might have in the past. I love you both & am grateful that all 3 of you are in my life.
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