Jason's Version

It was a dark and stormy Wednesday, February 17th, 2010. I was in the middle of my 75th one-armed push-up, the sweat stinging my eyes, when Christy leaped to her feet! Standing on the foot of the hospital bed, chest puffed, shoulders swung back in defiance, her gaze looking past me towards the heavens, she uttered in a Clint Eastwood-like whisper..."He's coming."

Or, basically "ditto" to Christy's last post. Hee. Hee.

Yes, it's been a whirlwind last many hours. More than 48 since her contractions began and as I type this, nearly 48 of Clark's external life on our planet! Yes, it was not what we planned, but I decided that if it were Clark's destiny to not play by the rules, then who were we to deny him!

First, I apologize to those I have not called back...the hours following Clark's birth were filled with many visits to the NICU, worrying about Christy, worrying about our belongings (there was a slight concern we would have to change rooms), trying to get sleep, helping Christy to the bathroom, helping her establish a lactation routine, blahbedy blah blah. Get me? I love you all and all the calls, e-mails, texts, Western Unions, have been so appreciated and felt deep within my heart. I love you all!

Second, woah...I'm so a DAD! Yay! He is so fucking cute! So tiny. So little. So fragile. Feisty. And as our pediatrician offered...'fantabulous'. Basically, he's here! He chose to be here now and now is how we will deal with him. I, for one, am relieved that Christy will not have to suffer being dormant in a hospital bed for the next few months. I am more than happy to witness Clark's nurturing inside of an incubator than in the comfort of mommy's tummy. We can literally watch him grow! He is in the absolute BEST care and I'm so confident we will take him home fat, happy, healthy, and strong!


Lessee...so last night was tough. Emotions swirling like a whirlpool, energy frenetic, sleep deprived. Yet the difficulty of seeing my son, so fragile and so vulnerable never enters my mind...there's just not enough room. Tears will pour at random times, during conversations, sometimes with just a thought. But every second I get to see him, I'm ecstatic! Christy, my love, my hero, continues to amaze and astonish me. She has healed so rapidly from such a major surgery, by this afternoon she was able (with my meager assistance) to actually walk to the NICU to see Clark. It has been such a pleasure to look after her and take care of her through this. She is so headstrong and amazing, I am quick to rely on her for everything. I take great pride when she must rely on me. Taking care of her is one of my favorite things! xo

This morning, after catching zzz's between three hour intervals of breast pumping (which is FASCINATING by the way!), Christy was able to take down some solid food and we both anxiously prepared for a trip up to see our boy.
Now, Christy was able to see him for the first time the night before and she seemed fine. This morning was very emotional. I think the helplessness of it all became overwhelming. We arrived and stood over Clark's little 'greenhouse'. A lovely Nurse we hadn't met yet had just started the shift, went over some vitals and then asked if Christy would like to hold him.
We were both aghast! Not that anyone said we never could, but we kinda automatically thought he would be hands-off for quite a while. The offer alone completed a transformation in Christy that I'm sure all you mothers out there will recognize. Her emotions calmed. Her poise shifted to confident. She prepared herself by peeling back her gown (it would be skin on skin), and sitting in the provided rocking chair with the patience of a Saint. The Nurse, every so carefully removed Clark from his perch and placed him on Christy's chest. He cried, and cooed, and calmed. His little head (about the size of a XL jawbreaker) rested on her, wrapped up in her robe, cradled in her arm. His free hand exploring the terrain of her collar bone. I was even able to inject a pin-drop morsel of our meager collectings of colostrum from Christy's breast. He took it in and swallowed, then adjusted himself; heavy and relaxed in the safety and warmth of our love. He even began to suckle on the back of his thumb! I sang Jason Mraz to him. Christy chanted. He soaked it all up and more!


I love this little dude!

The weight of this morning was lifted! We both were on cloud 9 all freakin' day! We know and have been told numerous times that this journey will be more than a roller coaster. There will be many humps. Downs with the ups. But days like today will get us through them all!

Sunday, Christy should be discharged. We will remain at the hospital to acclimate ourselves to our NEW, new home, the NCIU. Tuesday, Christy's Mom will arrive, who will be a big help to all three of us. I will return to work, auditions, and in between, every chance I get, join my family and together continue to feed Clark every ounce of affection we can muster.

Unfortunately, due to Flu Season, the H1N1, besides Christy and myself, no one will be allowed to see Clark. But you may call us, check in, come visit us, or this blog for more words, pics, and VIDEO!
Yup, workin' on one right now that I hope to post soon. But first...slllleeeep!


Psst...more pics here:
http://gallery.me.com/itsjasonmarsden#100228

user
clarkomarsden
pass
feb172010

Enjoy!

xo