I guess there was no blog yesterday, cuz we just plain didn't feel like it. It wasn't anyone's fault. There wasn't really anything wrong with Clark. We just felt like all of our energies really needed to be poured into loving our son yesterday. We didn't want to share that with anyone. Yesterday had to be ours.
I guess you could say we made the mistake of, yesterday morning, having a couple of friends over. Very dear and lovely friends we've known for a long time. Friends who have a one year old son of their own. A cute, chubby, rambunctious, ball of deliciousness...not attached to any wires...able to be picked up and cuddled at any time...no nurses to interfere...no fear of desats or bradys...not enclosed in a plexi-glass chamber...but a good ole fashioned one year old boy, squoze out from a delivery that, let's just say, very different from our own.
The longer the visit, the greater my weight of jealousy. Both for Christy and I found it very difficult to be around all three of them.
(I love you guys...I say this with the greatest affection, as parents I'm sure you understand, but I could not wait for you to leave.)
We raced to the hospital, with myself, growing more and more annoyed by almost every driver I passed. I swear, sometimes I think I'm the only person in this town that knows how to drive. SIDENOTE: for my fellow Los Angeles drivers, please make the following part of your daily routine - 1. Please signal when preparing to turn, and if you're turning right, get the heck over into the far RIGHT lane if you insist on slowing to a cautious crawl before making said turn. 2. Get off your friggin' phone! You all drive slower when you do so and are part of the problem...be part of the solution. I swear I'm going to spend a day on a street corner, video taping drivers as they talk and text and drive. I will have hours of footage. 3. Drive the friggin' speed limit. I swear, it's been Drive 5 - 7 Miles Under the Speed Limit week. What is UP with that? And last but not least 4. Yield is not the same as a Stop sign!
I digress. We got to the hospital just fine and who was waiting for us, but Mister Clark Otis. All our angst, jealousy, and despair dissolved. Christy had some lengthy skin to skin, partially interrupted by a quick snot suction (of Clark, not Christy) and then a rest-worthy afternoon of parent-son bliss.
Christy and I treated ourselves to a Guiness (dark beer helps the milk production) at a quiet pub in our hood and retired.
Today, I sit by Clark's side, having just read chapter 5 of HP and the Chamber of Secrets. Tonight, I head for Santa Barbara to act in a pal's short film. We'll shoot all morning and afternoon then I'll whisk back to the 90210 to see my boy! More to come!
except that my mothers intuition kicks in when a day goes by with no news I worry, that's what mothers do but on the other hand you must be tired of living your life at times for the whole world to see....as much as we all love this chronicle and look forward to it unfolding every day like a good book we (and I speak for all of us) love you all more and totally understand that your privacy is always respected and understood. It's Ok to be jealous of other parents who's babies are holdable but you my sweethearts have this time to grow with your baby outside the womb, all by yourselves, you really are watching him grow like a baby chick just hatched from an egg. This is a magical and yes frustrating time but oh what a time this is for the three of you. Be patient and kind and grateful for what you have because you have so much more and each day you are closer to that holdable baby you are envious of...all good things come to those who wait....I promise....I love you and I am so very proud of the three of you...always & always mom XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteBad drivers are universal. Anyway, aside from that, is a little person like Clark waiting to de-stress your mind by the love. It's there. I know when I am mad or down something funny or special happens. Speaking of that, I was irritated by one of my own personal problems I had with something and when I saw the blog with the elevator heads, my anger dissovled. Didn't change my problem but it made me lighten up. This blog always makes my problems shrink. It's so special. You guys have a right to your "off days". This is a big job for you. Tell Clark we are thinking of him, and you both as well.
ReplyDeleteYou need time to be a family without worrying about everyone else. We, of course, look forward to every blog, but do understand your need to just be! It is also perfectly fine to feel all those emotions. You can be jealous and still be so happy for the darling little boy that you have. He will grow and thrive, it will just take a little time. Look at how far he has come! It is wonderful that he has been moved to an area for more stable babies. Bravo and boy, it appears the love and heart beams are helping. You guys deserve all the best! Take heart...it is a long road but there is that beautiful rainbow waiting for all of you when Clark comes home!
ReplyDeleteThis picture is gorgeous! Jason I love your hair like this!
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