More like pride and explosive admiration.
As you know and have seen, Chronicle'rs, Clark has been bottle feeding. It's a near daunting task for a preemie to suck, swallow, and breathe. The mere effort is equivalent to bench pressing a couch. The task, the NICU puts upon the preemies, is to successfully suck down 8 bottle feeds, consisting of 40ccs (or more) a day. Clark attempts 4 bottles and if he's really lucky, he'll take some from mommy's breast as well. Sometimes he doesn't finish 40ccs and will tire out, the Nurses inputting the remaining feed via his gavage (nostril tube).
Now, when we first were introduced to bottle feeding Clark, or PO (Per Oral), we were instructed by a physical therapist, who demonstrated on Clark while we watched. The therapist would normally do this first before turning the baby over to the parents. Why? Is it that hard to bottle feed a baby? Seems so easy. Well, yes and no. There are things to look out for, signals, signs that he might be taking too much without breathing, tiring out too fast, and the like. I felt territorial about this at first, but came to my senses. Especially after feeding Clark for the first time myself. As with anything new, there's a learning curve.
Today, we learned that even though Clark appears tired and listless, he can certainly pound 40ccs of breast-milk, even in a near comatose state. As Christy was feeding him, he faded out into an exhaustive slumber. She figured he was done, unwilling to take more. After asking assistance from today's nurse, we realized that we have to, not force, but 'firmly suggest' that Clark continue. By simply reintroducing the bottle to Clark's, pressing the nipple against the roof of his mouth, thus 'stimulating' him to feed more. It worked like a charm and Clark, with purchase, continued to suck down nearly his entire feed!
Watching him do this, it was obvious he was workin'! I mean WORK-IN'! As if he knew what he had to do to get him that one extra step closer to the exit. It was humbling, fascinating! I was tired just watching. He would suck suck suck, swallow, then take many heaving breaths, as if he was lifting a large piece of furniture up the stairs, then stopping for...well, a 'breather'. I immediately flashed to times in my life where I was so exhausted and wanted to give up (and most often did), then thought of how many times in the future I will be confronted again. When that happens I will remember Clark, plodding on with ferocity, doing what he needed to do...for himself. For us. For you.
Clark, you're my friggin' hero!
Now, here's some cute pics of you dealing with reflux that will hopefully bring you back down to Earth,
Love, Dad
I can't even tell you how many times in the past ten weeks I have done exactly that. Thinking of Warrior Clark has this "ridiculous" ability to re-focus me. It's crazy but true. ;) He is soooooo handsome! xo
ReplyDeleteAmazing how strong and diligent this little guy is already hmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder where he gets that! XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI actually had a dream about this little dude last night. He was happy and healthy and I was meeting him for the first time, and bouncing him on my knee like any other adorable baby boy. :-)
ReplyDeleteIts so hard sometimes. My best friend had a premie baby in the fall and I take care of her all the time and feed her and when she was still little and underweight I'd think she was done eating or it seemed like she was, but we've grown to call them milkshake breaks. Its really thick and hard for them sometimes...and as a parent or caregiver you gotta know when to push and when to back off...and you'll learn super fast as a parent!!! Now that she's 6 months and almost perfectly on track as a full term girl, she has no problem eating...well most of the time!
ReplyDeleteHe is already such a teacher, warrior and healer. Workin so hard, that sweet baby boy. J, I love your perspective and the way you are allowing this to be a learning and growing process for all of us. xoxo
ReplyDelete5 lbs-I knew he would be there in a blink of an eye!! FANTASTIC! He is doing so fabulously well and eating, pooping, breathing, just as it should be! He will be home VERY SOON. By the way, a bit early but HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, Christy, from all of us! Bill, Danica, Josh and me! Love to you and Jason AND CLARK!!!
ReplyDeleteWow! Five pounds!I'm so happy to hear that! It must be such a difficult struggle for him to learn all he has to learn, while also dealing with the sheer physical challenge of taking in nourishment - all while linking breath to movement! Hmmmmm. Reminds me a little bit of teacher training! (Only, I think he's got the much more daunting task). And Christy - as much as I may miss our lovely classes, I am glad for you that you now have more time and energy to focus on your sweet little Clark. Please know that Art and I and our little tuxedo kitty, Henry, we are all still, always, sending heart beams to all of you.
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