Write or Left?

Looks like he's a leftie!

What's UP With This Pic?

Clark Otis! Cuz he be on a booster seat!

Excuse Me, May I Please Hold Your Baby?

 Argh! He's not even a baby anymore. He's full on toddlin'. He's a toddler! The other night, during our bed-time ritual, I got him in his jammies, activated the mood-lighting, switched on his humidifier, gathered him up in my arms and fed him his bottle. Singing to him, as I usually would, "Wanna Be Like You" from the Jungle Book, or Jason Mraz's "I'm Yours", and kissing his warm little forehead between verses; tonight I intended to continue holding him as he drifted off to sleep. It had been a while since we did that and I wanted to treat us both. Yet, Clark had another idea. After finishing his bottle, he pointed to his crib and said "Night night." A not so subtle indication that a horizontal position, comfy on his pillow is where he wanted to be. And...

"CRITCH"

 Though I couldn't hear it, I'm pretty sure at that moment, a hairline-crack opened just above the top-left portion of my heart. Yeah, the time for passing out on Daddy's chest is now slowly coming to an end. Unless I spike his milk with Benadryl. (NOTE to Activists: Just a joke. Jeeze) My little man is turning into, well, a little man!

As annoying as it was for near EVERY person we came across who told us to "savor every moment, cuz it goes by so fast", it's true. Man, it's true. Though I'm pretty sure if I savored even more than I already do, we might get conjoined. I mean, he might as well be behind a glass, with me staring, fixated with a pad and pen recording his every nuance. I mean I think I did that one day just for fun, but seriously folks, we ARE savoring!

Yet in a way, it kinda makes it hurt more. When he wakes up from a nap and appears significantly longer. When he busts out words like "yellow". When with just a look from one of us, he recognizes that he shouldn't play with that glass jar, instead, knowingly putting it (carefully) back on the shelf where he got it from. Arrgh I say! Perhaps as we're savoring we're subliminally trying to create a suspension of time.

He's just so fuckin' cute! So smart! So mature (well, you know what I mean). Am I biased? Absofuckinlutely. But I'm not waxing here either. We have a true gem on our hands. During our annual Pumpkin Carving Jello Shot Party (which we appropriately changed to Pumpkin Pot-Luck for obvious reasons), Clark totally worked the room as a little host should. He socialized, played, ate, charmed, and nuzzled with everyone. And towards the end, Christy and I discovered him crawling up the stairs and with a wave announced "Night night". The dude was putting himself to bed! Christy and I looked at each other, stunned. We gathered his bottle and jammies, excused ourselves from the party, and up we went.

It's been nearly 21 months since his rocket like emergence into our world and we're, on a daily basis, rendered emotional from SOMEthing, some look, some antic that he creates for us.

Yeah, man. We're totally in savor. We're also completely in love and in awe! 

Another

 

 Don't let the photo fool ya. We are finished with the child birthing. The above pic is for your amusement only! Got it!? No more babies. At least not the old fashioned way. Two weeks ago I underwent the simple yet ghastly procedure of what the laymen refer to as "the ole snip snip". Simple, cuz for me, it was. Ghastly, cuz well, I could show you pictures of the aftermath but we're trying to keep this a family-friendly blog. But if you're more than curious, next time you see me,  I have 'em on my phone. 

 Why stop at one? 

 Well read about Clark's first 90 days and ask yourself, would you want to go through that again? 'Nuff said there. The most surprising (annoying) reaction when I would tell folk that I was about to have a vasectomy was "You know, you can get that reversed." Like, without missing a beat, batting an eyelash, first knee-jerk response. It struck the same chord that vibrated every time someone would ask "So, when are you having another one!?" Yes, I certainly intended to have my balls cut open thinking that maybe a few years down the line I would love to do it again. As Wayne Campbell and his pal Garth would say..."Not"!

"Hmm. Yes. So cute, I am!"

It's Halloween night! He's wearing one of the two costumes I had planned for him. We're at Downtown Burbank with the other costumed kiddies. He's soaking it all in. 

 

Here's Mom and Dad gettin' in on the act. I totally wanted to be Luke Skywalker carrying Yoda on my back. But that costume requires a tank top and I was concerned about freezing my tushie off.  We walked the Promenade, the mall, a few blocks near Yoga Blend, testing out "Trick or Treat" or simply marveling at the spooky decorations and cool costumes. We ended the eve at a pal's party where Clark shed his Yoda persona for...

Superboy! What? Never seen Superboy like this? Well, you must not be a geek. This is actually "Connor Kent", Superman's clone. Seen in comics and on the toon Young Justice!








 Man, he's growing up so rapidly. It seems like every time he wakes up from a nap there is a significant change. His arms look longer. His forehead, thinner. His expression, more dynamic. Yes, I am missing that toothless, helpless, light as a feather, baby that fell asleep on my chest. Now, the dude actually ASKS to be put into his crib. Yeah, the longing is definitely there, but longing is not enough to make us chance another preemie. A preemie that may or may not prevail as Clark has. For now, we love focusing all our love, attention, and energies at Mr. Clark Otis! Nearly 20 + months young. Full on toddler. Perfectly satisfied!

Not to say that I don't have the overwhelming urge to pick up every baby I see.

Most Like to Drive Around the Block...

> Clark likes to take the block around for a drive.
>

Little builder

I know, I know...we are totally slacking on the posts...we're too busy watching this little guy grow right before our very eyes. So exciting, so grateful...so in love!!!!

20 Months Young

F'in love this little guy!

1 and a Half

Yesterday Clark turned 18 months! In that time he's absorbed a lot of love and attention. Below is a little somethin' celebrating all the folk who've contributed to that love! xoxxo

(PS - click FULL SCREEN for best results)

"Gross Gross Gross, Let's Not Eat the Erasers"

"Oh, I see you found Daddy's wallet."

"I found your keys! They're in the recycle bin."

"What's the remote doing in the hamper?"

These are a few things we found ourselves saying lately.


Here's a few things Clark has been saying:

"Be." "Beh." "Da'goon." "Dada." "Bay-bee." "Mah-mee." "Wooooaaaaoowww." That last one is probably the cutest exclamation. Imagine the sweetest, softest, sounding "wow" that you could ever hear. Then imagine Tinkerbell-like chimes ringing as you hear it. Yeah, unbiased, gooey goodness!

As you can imagine, things are ever so non-stop in the Marsden household. Christy and I have been balls to the walls with work, which has been awesome. Meanwhile, Clark is full on walking and exploring. We had to buy him shoes. That's right, shoes! He's a shoe wearin' fool now! Which makes outings that much easier. Too tired to carry him? No prob, he'll walk. Usually at a much slower pace than we're used to. Usually not in the direction we are intending to go. Usually. But the dude is also usually obedient.

"Ah ah ah." Is also something you might hear us say often. "Ah ah ah", with a curt enough tone, indicates something Clark shouldn't be doing (It's also the tone we use for our dog, Molly. So it can get confusing for the innocent party). If Clark moves beyond the "ah ah ah" and decides to go ahead and put his hand in the dog bowl, throw food on the floor, or walk into traffic, then a fierce "No!" is implemented. So, we let Clark wander wherever he wishes (within' eye sight), if he strays too far, we: "Ah ah ah, come on over here." To which, he stops and makes his way to join us.

Clark, is an absotively posilutely very good kid. He's fierce, brave, sensitive, cuddly, funny, inquisitive, and downright cuuuuute! His sleep routine you could practically set your watch to. Wakes every morn between 6:30-7am. Then every three hours after that, a nap. Has breakfast when he wakes, lunch at noon, dinner at 6, bed by 7:30pm (8 at the latest), and gives us no grief when being put down to rest.

His new hobbies are, swimming (last weekend in Palm Springs, he couldn't get enough!), throwing things down stairs, pushing chairs and large objects, hiding behind curtains, opening doors/drawers and emptying the contents (sometimes putting things back), and the kid just will not stop smiling!

His Nana Pat got him a full on Radio Flyer wagon which he loves (as do we). He'll ride in it along our local bike path, at Farmer's Markets, or just in our driveway.

Every day is something new. He does indeed change so fast. When I see newer babies while I'm out and about, I can't help but yearn for those times when Clark was a bit more helpless, light as a feather, tiny. It's just the sadness of watching my boy shed layers that are now forever gone. But underneath each layer is something more outstanding than the next! Thanks to Groupon, I just got us a 1/2 off Family Membership to the LA Zoo...so that's happening! Basically, kids, it's ON. It's so on!

Reflection

As my mom and I were talking yesterday the conversation, as it always does, started to center around Clark....which is totally my favorite subject. He is just so amazing and so super excited to be alive. He is ready for whatever, pretty much whenever (except when he's tired or hungry....then watch out!). We were chattering about all the joy that he is and that he creates. Then we drifted to the way he came into this world. We talked about how emotional it is to look at the pictures...just how small and fragile he was. This feeling comes over me that is so hard to explain. This sadness for the suffering of anyone and everyone. There is definitely a deep impression on my soul of that experience. I am not sure I have quite processed it all yet. In fact, when I look at pictures...I know I haven't. But at the time, we just dealt with what was right in front of us. Going to the past and wishing things were different didn't help, nor did thinking about the long, unknown road ahead of us. So the present is where we needed to be...for ourselves and for our baby boy. If the past or future aren't causing suffering and are creating joy, then why try to stop the mind from that experience? But when they DO cause suffering, I find that being present is the best way to keep creating joy despite the obstacles; So, we decided to be in each and every moment...loving that little guy as hard as we possibly could. And now here we are and I look at that soul survivor and I am blown away by the heart's capacity for love.

And now, here he is growing by leaps and bounds...happy, healthy and super sweet...ACK...I can hardly stand it!

I have several pics I wanted to post but for some reason I cannot get them to load. I'll try later.

Love!

Water Baby

Stairs, Clapping, and Subtle Manipulation

Hiya Clark fans! Been a while, I know. We've been updating via our Facebook accounts and have left you out like an ugly step-child. Nothing personal.

Since we've last posted, some major changes have taken place!
Clark is an expert traveler! He's been to Nashville and back and Rhode Island and back and we've another Nash trip coming up for 4th of July! We've had to spring for his own seat, cuz we don't want to have to burden some poor soul while Clark gets his wiggles out. (I'll post an airplane chronicle as soon as my computer starts comfortably accessing new pics.)
Clark not only climbs stairs, he sails down them with ease!



We love watching the faces of those who have not seen Clark conquer the stairs. It's like their watching a tightrope walker...or Jaws!
Yesterday, for the very first time, he figured out clapping! For a while, instead of doing it himself, he would grab mine or Christy's hands and slam them together, making US clap. Being able to do it himself was better than cotton candy! (Sorry, no video on that. We were too busy capturing it in our brains!)
Ah yes, subtle manipulation. I think we might have another thesp in the house. When Clark wants to be picked up, like really bad, he will throw himself to his knees, arms outstretched, head back with a pleading wail! When we pick him up, the little super villain beams with a shit-eating grin! This is not quite the case when we have to put him down for a nap. Sometimes he gives little to no protest, but most of the time, as soon as we place him in the crib, expressions and screams of betrayal! Tears stream! Cheeks burn strawberry! And the Emmy goes to...

It truly tears my heart out. But as soon as we leave the room, minutes, sometimes seconds later, he stops, talks to himself, and finally passes out.

He's 16 months old today! Growing like a weed, expressing unabashed, exploring like a hero on a mission! Love him!

NICU Reunion

I arrived home late on Saturday night May 14th from Mexico. The next day was the NICU reunion. Jason was not feeling so great, so Clark and I decided to go alone. Overwhelming is the best way to describe that day. Seeing all of Clark's nurses and doctor's...and of course the babies. The sweet little souls that spent time in the NICU and now are happy, growing, thriving little babies. My eyes were brimming with tears the entire time. We didn't stay long because it was super crowded and Clark just wanted to crawl around. There were all ages of kids and parents walking around, strollers everywhere and food on the tables that he could just reach to pull off a table. Had I let him down, it would not have been pretty, so I had to hold him and with his fierce determination to get free, we had to make it a short visit. I didn't even get a picture that day.

However, everyone was blown away by Clark...the little baby that could. The baby that came into this world with the odds against him and he stuck his tongue right out to those odds and said 'I'll show you' and show us he did...about what it means to be grateful, to be present, to love with all your heart no matter what the end result. Every day when I look at his little face and those big brown eyes look back up at me...I remember...I remember what it means to be alive...what it means to truly love...

TOGA TOGA TOGA!

Boys having fun while mommy was away...

Meanwhile at Olive Garden in Mt Juliet, TN

Pensive and Passionate...

Pensive...

Passionate...

Clark Conquers the Stairs

another...

First of many new pics...

Messy Good Times