Clark Sent Me

Smile. "Hello there!" Wow, 79 followers and counting. Movie deal, here we come! I insist that I play myself, Christy, AND Clark. With technology being what it is...there should be no question.

Wanted to share something my momma-in-law said today. Cuz she came all the way from TN, the NICU was nice enough to let her see her grandson before she left. She looked at him and said: "Alright, now you can at least give me some of my heart back...oh, never mind you can have it." Yup, my boy just steals your whole heart!

When all this went down, one of the first things we heard about was the weekly Preemie Parent Meet and Greet at the NICU. A support group for all of us 'rents who's babies done come to early. My first thought upon hearing this was; ME: "I don't want to hear anyone else's sob-story." I suggested to Christy that we skip it, avoiding potential negativity and angst that surrounds such a situation. In yogic teachings, they say not to dwell on the negative. Why put our energies into the sad, the bad, and the what-could-happen?
As we started to visit the NICU every day, it was impossible to not run into a Preemie Parent. To my surprise, there was often eye contact, mutual looks of support, and even a 'hello' (returned, cuz I'm usually the 'hello' instigator). After a few days Christy decided she wanted to check out the support group. Turns out, so did I.
It wasn't a huge turnout, but there were 'veteran' PPs, and new ones (us), all moderated by a NICU social worker. A friendly gal who arranged cupcakes, rattles, dolls and other donated items just for us. There was the usual orientation, explanation of the group, introduction of other parents and their particular situation. Christy and I were allowed to be as emotional as we wanted. It was very healing. For one, we didn't have it nearly as bad as some. There were babies there going through open heart surgeries, parents that had already been there for several months. There were tips and tricks on how to cope, numbers exchanged, and a lot of warmth.

It's almost like being the new kid in school. There is one gal who, with admiration, I call the "Gossip". She seemed to know a thing or two about NICU goings on. Which parents have been here the longest, who's going home soon, which Nurses are the best, what it means if your baby is in Bay 6 rather than Bay 1, suggestions of items we might want to bring (the first day, we must have lugged like 5 bags of stuff). There's a lovely African American couple with twins, across from Clark's isolette. Their babies have been going through some tough times, but they always offered extra love and comforting words to us.
Another couple, let's call 'em Bob and Jane. He's in his late 50s (doesn't look it), she's probably our age. Very funny, very Jewish, very sweet. They are doting over triplets! Three boys! And get this, turns out Bob used to manage an actor on the first television series I ever did. I asked him if he ever was on the set, he said 'yes'. I told him, I must've been thirteen years old! And now, years later, we're both nurturing our preemie children! Jane even connected with another Preemie Mom in the NICU who used to go to the same high school in Ohio! Oh and the last RN Christy had on the day she checked out was a Kundalini teacher that Christy took a workshop from just a year ago! Small world indeed! OMG, one more! The doc who runs the joint, who was RIGHT THERE when Clark was whisked from Christy's belly, is the brother of a VO actor I work with. Ca-ray-zee.
Bob and Jane invited me to dinner last week and we shared funny stories and mushy love for our little ones. Bob, who looks like a bald Kevin Pollack, and I, thought about attempting a NICU open mic night! "Hey, with all those wires and plugs in my kid, I can't tell if he's my son or a VCR!" Rimshot!

We're only 12 days (wow, TWELVE days) into Clark's 'evolution' and already we have become the 'veterans' welcoming new PPs with kind looks and hugs. We've made instant friends with other parents, have fun hopping from Bay to Bay to visit their kids. It's tough when I see a baby who's further along than Clark. A thick, chubby, baby being held in his or her mom's arms, free from CPAPs, nuzzling, or preparing to be bathed...but then I turn the jealousy into excitement that soon, I will get to do the same thing with Clark-O.
There have been shoulders for us to cry upon, it's only fair that we, in turn, continue to stay strong and provide a shoulder or two for the new PPs who walk into the NICU for the first time. We can safely say that we have enough love to nurish Clark and spread to the other parents in need. Cause why not? Love and positivity is free, it's abundant, everyone wants it! In fact, one Grand Preemie Parent and I were chattin' on how hard it is to get a smile back from people in Los Angeles. "I'd smile and say hello at a stranger," she said, "and they'd jus' look at me like I's crazy." Yes, direct quote.

So here's my assignment for you, Chronicles of Clark-ers. Smile at someone today. Say hello. And tell 'em Clark sent ya.