100% without out a doubt...I am a MOM...2 words for ya.
Projectile Poop!
Yep, you read that right.
As you all may recall, Clark has been struggling with poop for awhile now. Usually only occurs once a week and it is quite a painful experience for him leading up to it. Monday night was one of those nights. His belly was tight, he was squirming and fussy, pushing and crying out. The only way he could sleep that night was cuddled up to Jason or I...so that is what we did.
The next day, Clark was still super uncomfortable with a big ole' belly. When his Nana went to change his diaper, it was right there and before giving him the help of a suppository, we have been advised to try rectal stimulation. So, I got down on my knees (so as not to throw out my back) and started trying to help the little munchkin out. We have done this before, and it has worked. I was prepared...SO I THOUGHT.
A little came out...I was stoked and was hoping more was to follow...oh boy was it. The next thing you know, it came firing out at me like I had been shot with a paint gun. It got ALL OVER ME. Pretty much from my neck down to my belly button...COVERED in poo.
After the initial shock subsided, my mom and I went into absolute hysterics of laughter. Tears running down our face. Little Clark's face, after days of struggling, had a look of quiet, peaceful content...his belly all relaxed and soft.
Mom said..."I oughta get a picture"...to which I replied..."Get me a towel!" You see, I was covered and couldn't even use my hands to get anything because they were covered...and I couldn't stand because it would have gone all over the floor. Yep, I was pretty vulnerable in that moment.
My mom, loving me so much...took mercy on me and got a towel instead of her camera. 1/2 package of wipes later...I was clean enough to go shower. Marveling at mommydom...
When Jason got home, we told him the story. After the laughter subsided...he said "did you get a picture?" Now, I KNOW that Jason would not have shown me the mercy that my mom did. He would have DEFINITELY taken a picture first.
Mom said that in all her years...raising me and my brother...and then his 3 kids...she had NEVER seen anything like that...
That's my Clark...always gotta go for things in a big way!
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ReplyDeleteWelcome to the motherhood. And I am a little disappointed in your mom for not getting a pic. Sure, she should have gotten the towel - but after one quick pick. I think you will now fully appreciate this blog post:
ReplyDeletehttp://hagenhoopla.blogspot.com/2006/10/kodak-moments.html
That is too funny! My youngest had serious poop problems and we had to regularly perform all your tricks, I was obsessed with poop so I understand.
ReplyDeleteMy niece has always had problems with her bowels-often a number of things given her to make her go. Once the laxative hits, we are prepared to change her every 10 minutes or so. Yes, she too once shot out a big whammy!TMI! I'm glad Clark was able to relieve himself in the most interesting and humorous way. Who would have thought pooping was funny?
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is Holy Crap! amazing how much poop can come out of such a little baby huh...good thing your mom was there to help XOXOXO
ReplyDeleteI'm kind of disappointed she didn't get a picture too. If I remember correctly, a few days ago you got one of her asleep with Clark, so she owes you one. She really missed out on a perfect opportunity to get even..:-)
ReplyDeleteXOXOXOXO
Love and Heartbeams
Neal
The picture would have been a classic and YES Daddy would have taken one for the record. But, your mom understood. Yet, it would have been worth a 1000 words :) It certainly was a pooptastic moment. I am happy that Clark is feeling better and wait til he hears that story when he is older!!! Love to all of you.
ReplyDeleteoh...wow.
ReplyDeleteha ha ha I love the poop stories! Chloe's first projectile shot up into my eye and out 2ft to hit the wall. It was hysterical! The image of you and your mom laughing to tears is a good substitute for you covered in poo. LOL
ReplyDeleteha ha ha ha ha ha I am still laughing my butt off!!! Ah ha ha ha ha ha!!!! hee hee hee hee hee hee- SO AWESOME!!!! I would have loved the pic of Clark before and after, too- all red, tight and bloated and then soft, pink and relaxed. HA HA HA HA!!!! so glad you shared this!
ReplyDeleteCannot wait to see you guys...poop and all!!!
ReplyDeleteBelieve it or not, there will come a day you will wish your Mom had gotten the camera. He's a beautiful miracle and I couldn't be happier for the two of you!
ReplyDelete(Or for the fact that it was you and not me...lmao)